I will not die that early!: I will not die that early:Room smelled of medicin...

I will not die that early!:
I will not die that early:Room smelled of medicin...: I will not die that early: Room smelled of medicines, air felt cold. Time refused to advance, heart denied its pace. Lights were dimm...

me v/s me

me v/s me: Me v/s me Who’s this within me, someone nowhere close to me! Look at her glee, look how she smiles, seems like she has found her l...

You.

I raised my hand up to you,

you weren't there to hold.

I sensed your presence ;

but.. you aren't here I was told.

I hazed around the space,

trying to earn your precious glimpse.

you walked away from me.

on my sight you winced.

I trusted those days,

those minutes, those seconds.

never  thought you could change,

You gave no reminisce.

You descended the stairs,

with a visage having no emotions.

My strength declined,

calculating your each motion.

You saw me fighting;

battling within to hold my tears.

Shattered, I was,

you didn't bother I fear.

I tried to stop you,

you ignored my plea.

you tried to avoid it,

my eyes could see.

love was supposed to stay within us

Insulted, disrespected..

It has now abandoned us.

You smashed out through the door

drifted away from me.

I promise to forget you,

I'll try, my love you're now free.

You meant a world to me.

untouched by false convictions.

tethered by betrayal..

Loneliness..

has now become a painful ramification.

Nights have grown more dark,

Memories wail out hideous pain.

life has come to standstill,

I need you to frame it again.

This life you gave,

once shone golden red;

deprived of your presence..

every night, I lay on a death bed.

Path

Heights beneath the pale blue sky;
I stand, giving in for a fresh new try.
Revisiting all my adversities; burdened under these debris,
I affirm, I won’t cry.

Miles before my destination;
I underwent a pain of desolation.
Scenes of melancholy, brimming my memory,
I decide to face, I won’t flee.

Paths before my final track;
I was treated like a shore wrack.
Waif and strayed I grew.

I will live, each moment as it was sewed.

Years before my final hour;
I was jolted by a vile past.
Forgetting the sting of those moments,
I’ll ensue, ringing new doorbells.

Depths before my final sea,
I was uprooted like a lifeless weed.
Unaltered by the sly tricks of life,
I promise, I won’t flee.

Ages before my final stage,
I was tortured, burnt down and flayed.
Ignoring thy horrendous fit of rage,
I won’t end, I’ve decided to stay.

Drops before my valence rain,
was trampled to sedating pain.
Witnessed acts that’ll hang Lucifer to shame,
I’ll carry on, with satin holding my blood stains.

Cries before my final wrath,
was locked alone to die and rot.
Baring eyes that wrung out pain,
I won’t fall, vow not to turn back again.

Halts before my final stop,
I held within every teardrop.
Soaring within was a pile of pain,
All will wash away, with an agonizing froth.

As I reach here, blinded by the place’s luminosity.
I thank thee, for shaping my rickety destiny.
With sufferings it served me on its platter,
I grow into a Samson, a person with a tested character.

Redemption

Blinded by my sorrows,
I walk down this boulevard.
Diluted by lies;
I don’t know where to stop.

With a tethered body housing my dented spirit,
I try to reunite the pieces of my soul.
A callous peep into my past,
exhibited my impious role.

Millions of strange faces
stare upon my scarred face.
Hiding within my shadow;
I rushed, agitating my pace.

Sun denied to offer a hold
it laughed, played a brutal trick.
How much I whelped for a shade,
to hide my hideous deeds.

Innocence abandoned me that day.
I lay back on my feet.
With a straight face
showing no regrets of my iniquitous mistakes.

This world thwarted the reprobate I was,
It pushed me aside it now laughs.
Caressed the devil I was,
always applauded my sinful cause.

Every bygone moment
welcomes the past I had.
Struck by the fear of acquainting it;
I lay down lifeless, dead.

Now, as I stand
 before your holy land, I beg.
Forget all I did.
Sanctify me with your benevolent hand

This thing called 'LOVE"!

There were times when berating the word love was considered as an attribute of reverence. Fathers wore pride, introducing their progeny happily volunteering themselves as baits to their choices, mothers sat assured around the coffee tables fantasying the awaited new member, one she had placed the seal on, siblings desperate to snatch every possible moment to load their wardrobes with and the victim waiting to fall in love with his tailor made partner.
But, these were the times when Elvis Presley ruled the tender hearts of young women and twist was the authorized dance at parties. The world today has taken a new shape, neither Elvis nor twist remain at the position they once used to be. Since every second thing we touch has a different identity, the word too has sprung up with its own. To be made to fall in love was a trend when sitting by a river side with a book in hand was considered to be one highly valued leisure activity.
Can a person, actually be made to fall in love? Is it possible to dictate love essays on a person and hypnotize him to be a lover? Do love sprays exist? Certainly Yes! If ghosts and spirits do, if a jinn who promises to fulfill three desires exists, if witches actually used brooms to fly instead of using them for the purpose they are made for!
This certainly states a fact, no one can be pushed to love a person he is tied with, had this been true, battlegrounds must have converted into love towns with love birds chirping around their love ballads.

The question that arises is that does the word still retains its meaning, the one our ancestors defined it as entailing their stories of love?
No!
 Like they say ‘change is the only thing that’s constant’. Love has got a new identity for itself, a new stance a new gist
it is regarded as that epidemic that is spreading its reign silently, engulfing every individual into it. A smart parasite that resides in your body secrets its love fluid, adulterating your blood, infecting your arteries, leaving you paralyzed!
Many forms of Love have been explored by us. This offers to be an easy tag to forename any anonymous feeling that strikes your mind.
Somebody smiles at you, you fall in love with him, someone helps you with your shopping piles, fall in for him.
Help someone cross a busy lane, get yourself a love partner, accompany a stranger in a romantic film, make him your life partner!
This is how love is being defined these days, a mere alternate of feeling that cannot be explained.
But is this truly love? No! Love is pure. It’s the most unsullied sentiment He has bestowed upon us. A sensation that has powers blow life in a corpse. An emotion that can be cherished for an entire life, a catalyst to aid in a process called life, a force strong enough to pull you from the deep, wet pits of life!
Every new-found feeling should not be labeled as love. Doing so, will not only lower the feeling you are destined to feel on falling in true love, but would also deprive you with the joy that feeling is bound to give you.
Love is pristine. Everyone is sure to experience it. This is God’s own will. Not everyone can experience it simultaneously, but will undergo the experience before knocking the Almighty's gate. Patience is all it will ask for, will test your endurance and will strike you when the anticipation it created reaches its apt measure!
So, live your life, celebrate it, as this will help you to kill the time till you fall into it!

Conviction

There at one corner I sat,

eyes puffed, head bowed, heart scratched. 

The walls stood still, silent and immobile.

White as snow, covering all that we shared.

The world paced outside,

unaware of the storm liable for my devastation.

No one will come. No one will know the truth,

The reason of our separation.

I saw you claiming your belongings,

heaping them in your knapsack.

One thing you denied to include,

it was me that it lacked.

Leisure, trust, companionship

was all our bond had.

Degenerated by time, it now has,

acquisitions and forlorn sounds of slaps.

Watching you move away

willing never to turn back, abate me.

I thought we were one. Your absence,

will turn me into a rootless tree.

The clock did its chore,

ticking the moments, plotting to take you away.

Life would be meaningless, a pure waste.

I wish, I would have said.

My eyes tracked your movements,

frantic for your attention.

One contact is all they plea,

to amend whatever has happened.

The mirror on those pale walls,

reflects your transient presence.

We decided to leave together,

you said our union was crafted in heavens.

The pain in me is mounting,

engulfing me, it now shows its effects.

Invading my mind, choking my throat,

I may not survive, I say so, I confess.

Tired of futile attempts to win you back,

I retire. My eyes are fatigued, filled with tears,

look at them, look at the ones,

you once admired.

Charred by sadness, scorched by your departure,

I stand lifeless, watching you move farther.

I won’t stop you from leaving,

waiting for you to return and a conviction in my ardor.

Life's good!

I was asked to define life.
I tried to retort the question but lack of an answer, made me shut my eyes and to ponder over it. My brain prompted me of nothing, my nerves went numb.  All I sensed with shut eyes was a dark cold response. Tired of the futile attempts I gave up.
A black canvas? Is this what my life is? Certainly not!
I closed them again, this time with a determination to find an answer. It was dark again, but I didn’t give up. Seconds later, I sensed an image emerging out from the dark space. It was a huge picture, a collage of my life. It held on it my life; the things I did, the moments I lived, the times I passed. It appeared as a painting; painted by Him. A painting which had a blue print of my life. A painting which instructed me to precede my life. As if all the events that happened to me were already planned. I was chosen as a mediator to enact them, the decisions I took were not mine; the deeds I was held responsible for were not my ideas. I was not the master of the soul residing in me. I was just a mediator.
It held in it the various aspects of my life. I was projected as a daughter, an obnoxious sister, a friend, a silent admirer, a dreamer with soaring dreams, an anonymous stranger, a victim of broken bonds, a winner of good relations, it had it all. Each world was linked, weaved with elegance, transporting me from one to another, efficiently without letting their existence felt.  It made me realize the parallel worlds I lived in simultaneously.
The roles I were assigned laid before me patterned diligently.
In one such picture I saw a kid. The kid looked happy. She bore a smile that reflected the peace her mind was in. that kid was me. It was my father’s cuddle which made me feel that peace.
Another one had the image of a school girl. Oiled hair, shoes with a layer of dirt on them, knee length dress and a care free attitude defined her. She had a glee on her face, surrounded by people of her age. The expression she had indicated her intimacy with the people around.  That girl was me.
Next that my eyes saw, was a person who had her head bowed down. Her hands were folded and shoulders lowered.  The lady besides her looked poignant. Perhaps it was the day when I was to face the outcome of the deed I was not expected of. That lady was my mother.

 In one I saw myself with my sister. Our hands hung around each other’s shoulders. Our dresses exhibited the madness we housed towards the changing trends. Our eyes dictating the love we had for each other. She looked pretty and I spoiled the grade of the picture.
Further ahead I saw an abandoned person. A figure that stood alone, engulfed in darkness. Indeed it was the time when I was cheated by the person I had not expected. This was the place that gave birth to the sorrows of my life.
There in the adjacent picture I saw myself. I looked weak, filthy. My eyes were dull clearly reflecting my disinterest in life. I lay at a corner of a room, away from the world. I appeared as a waste, as a person who had lost the verve of her life. Perhaps, here I was heartbroken. My love deserted me.
At the center of the collage I saw a bright spot.  My life seemed good there, good enough to uplift me from the miseries I lived in. I saw myself happy there. The happiness was gifted to me by the embrace my mother held me in.
I opened my eyes and the collage vanished. I shut them again regretting my act, but was entertained by darkness again. The picture went astray, leaving behind me a question to answer.

Life ..Life is a patchwork. A collage of the moments we live, a pool of emotions we exhibit. An oasis of thoughts we shelter. Life is beautiful, it’s wonderful. Life’s good!

Kids!

cuteness is the weapon they don't hesitate to use! 

                                                                          

Ever volunteered for babysitting? If your answer is yes then you may agree to the fact that it is the worst job one can invest his time in. if you are yet to experience the job then here are some do’s and don’ts you should brush yourself up with!

To start with, cement it in your mind that Kids cry on stupid things. Crying is a natural response they have, which they express regardless of the situation. You do well to them, hit them, tease them, appreciate them, feed them or scold them, they’ll cry, no matter what!

You ask them for your share of the candy you helped them to unwrap and they’ll burst into tears. Saying NO would have conveyed the message!

You refuse to believe their dumb fantasies and see the crisis they create. We as adolescents have tones of such fantasies. Who bothers about them?!

No matter how sweetly you speak to them, their parents will always complain about you being rude to their kids. (Heartless people)! Your efforts will never be appreciated.

Watching them battling out with their home assignments is fun as long as they don’t realize your indolence.  Once they find you idle, you will be dragged into the whirlpool of home assignments. No matter how hard you try getting out of it, you will fail!

Asking for favors is like dedicating your residual life to them. You thenceforth would be subjected to fierce experiments and will not be allowed to deny the sufferings.

Ignoring them, will become the biggest mistake of your life. They can adopt any measure to make their presence felt.

Never challenge them on their spellings, accept even the wrong ones. Teaching them the correct ones, will make you forget your own.

Lending them your gadgets is the worst idea your brain can prompt you of. It takes them hardly one hour to disintegrate them, Phones being the most vulnerable equipments closely followed by laptops.

Complaining of their mischiefs is a sin. One they will never forgive you for. Be sure to face absurd privacy attacks then onwards.

Never act nor mention the elderly things before them, they may not react but they do act! Facing parents of such children is not a great thing to witness.

Restrict them from playing; your life will be their favorite game thenceforth. 

Never hit them in public, because if you do, they’ll retaliate. Kids don’t hesitate in hitting at inappropriate places in public.

They offer to be the worst accomplice. Never share your secrets with them; these are able potentials to reach any level of black mailing.

Lock your documents in case you share your desktop with them. They are efficient hackers; technology has its worst effects on them!

The last precaution is very important. Breathe in twice. Stretch yourself, relax and once you feel a stable mind residing within, read further;

Avoid being Sarcastic with them. More aptly abhor it. Phrases like kill me, stop eating my brain, I'd prefer hell, punch me…

may be taken literally.     

Kids are the most under estimated species. Their cute faces mask the fierce devils in them. 

Remember: the cuter the kid you meet, the fierce the devil he shelter!

Adios!

Three months from now we’ll meet, but for the last time.
We’ll laugh together but they won’t be genuine anymore.
We’ll discuss ourselves, our buying’s, but the conversations won’t be enjoyed anymore.
We’ll gawk on the same cute boy, but, he won’t stay in our mind for long anymore.
Our procrastinated assignments will be discussed but they won’t be a problem anymore. Asking for pens will be more difficult, new notebooks won’t excite us anymore.
Stalking the new professor won’t be regarded as our innocence, Humiliations won’t be superficial anymore.
Heartbreaks would be a little more painful; falling in love won’t become an issue anymore!
Celebrations will not be the anticipated meetings, mornings won’t be hectic anymore.
Crying over stupid issues won’t earn a shoulder now, smartness won’t be berated anymore
Last benches on which we essayed our rights, would be taken by others, and we won’t be their masters anymore.
Absurd dressing sense won’t attract eyeballs; inferiority won’t be an alien term anymore.
Speaking out your thoughts won’t be tolerated, laughter won’t be amorphous anymore.
The need of controlling our laughter on the gags of the person we hate, that won’t be required anymore.
Hangouts will still be planned, but, they won’t be that crowded anymore.

Life will still be a pain, but we won’t be together to distribute the pain anymore.

As then, we won’t be together, the way we are now
Burdened by our known pre occupations,
we won’t stand for each other anymore!